00m42s— White people shoot up annual gathering. (And he was not an immigrant!)

06m04s— Better dead than rude. (Train yourself to not notice.)

09m18s— Stupidfacts. (Like hatefacts, but dumber.)

15m14s— Politicians think long-term! (About some things.)

23m22s— Girls in foxholes. (But too late for Mrs Farook.)

28m38s— Zuckerberg the new Soros. (Giving it all away...to himself.)

30m47s— White student unions. (Speaking fees on request.)

31m42s— Gravitation textbooks. (The prices don't fall.)

33m55s— Turkmenistan sets a new record. (Upward, forward, onward!)