Most depressingly, Haiti is still in the news. What on earth can be done with the wretched place?

I suppose we could send over a force to restore order. We’ve done that before, though: twice, in fact. We actually occupied Haiti for twenty years, 1915 to 1934; then again for seven months in 1994 to 1995.

Neither made any difference. For Haiti, nothing makes any difference.

Trying to be constructive here, we could I guess finance a mission by El Salvador President Nayib Bukele, who has demonstrated indisputably that he knows how to deal with Anarchy. Bukele might not want the job, though.

Or we could start up a mass deportation program to just get Haitians the hell out of our neighborhood. To where? Why, to francophone Africa.

My go-to reference here is my Grandad’s 1922 Atlas-Guide to the British Commonwealth of Nations & Foreign Countries. There on pages 74-75 is Africa, as it was in 1922.

The French-speaking part is huge: modern-day Senegal, Guinea, Ivory Coast, Mauretania, Niger, Chad, Central African Republic, … vast territories inhabited by black people and once, like Haiti, ruled by France. The Haitians could easily make themselves at home there; and their numbers, only 11½ million, would hardly notice in the vastness of Africa.

For sure no one in this hemisphere would miss them, least of all their next-door neighbors in the Dominican Republic.

Haitians have been a problem in our region for far too long. It’s time they went home to Africa, where perhaps they might succeed. Hey, it’s worth a try.